Is it over yet?

Oh, I am so hoping now that the holiday is over that maybe the stable enviroment at work can be achieved now.

I so so miss the peaceful atmosphere we had a month ago even though it was not all together set in stone routines developed yet, but from August till December were truly the best I had experienced at work as far as leadership goes. Yes, things happened but we had a strong but gentle support system present with us and we so desperately need that presence now.

It was supposed to get easier, more stable with this new guy.. I am still in limbo. People who do not like my faithfulness to the company or my following of policy and regulations are trying even harder to influence the new guy with their so called best ways when everyone involved at this point was on the verge of being fired not so very long ago for their behavior that has only had a thin veil shading them from being recognized as the thorns in everyone's sides. They are trying so desperately to get me gone. They even try stupid things like trying to make it look like they have absolutely no training on certain things, they don't have a clue what is supposed to be going on or how to do the same things they have been doing for over a year, when I know for a fact they have and do know. There has been a sweet lady who has helped train who will now be training.

So now, I will not be training anyone. Which is fine. They can irritate this other poor sweet lady doing the task. Pray for her.

I am to do more office stuff which would be good if I was given the time and training to do it. In the meantime, I am trying desperately to do what is asked of me and trying desperately not to offend anyone as I am a person who I am told can be very intimidating to others.

I am sorry. Right is right and wrong is wrong.

When you don't give a damn about what directions are given to you and you insist on doing things the way you want to, which is almost always the wrong way, it bothers me. When other people do stuff and I have to be held accountable for their irresponible actions, it tends to rub me the wrong way. When you do the deed and I get the kick in the ass and I am not even on the clock, yeah, that bites my butt hard.

I am so hoping that maybe with learning some of the neccessry things I need to progress, I can get transfered to another location. Yeah, those other places might have their problems but it would be different problems.

I love my job. I love what I am doing. I love where I am living.
BUT
I am tired. I am tired of the games that don't seem to be seen by the eyes that should be seeing it. Holidays games with people calling in or too many people scheduled off and having to work the office and the floor, not much office work done. I just spent 3 days of trying to be someone I am not being paid to be and covering the shortages which totaled 5 out of 8 people in the morning and 4 out of 7 in the evening with me supposedly doing a 5 to 1 and then back at 4 til 7 schedule. I ended up one day being in from 3:15 am (I didn't clock in till 5) till about 9:30 pm with a 1/2 hr lunch on a holiday eve with lots of stuff to do we don't normally do. umm about...39 hrs in 3 days. Yeah, I'm tired. With working the way I am right now, I am tired of working so many long hours and not having a life. I am tired of not being close to family. Yesterday, Christmas, was the hardest. With not working. Getting up, making some candies, gingerbread bites, pumpkin bread. Stuff to take to a friendand her family, that had invited me over so I wouldn't be by myself for the holiday.

All the while I am making this stuff I am thinking, if I was near Julz, she and the kids could be having some fun doing this with me. As it should be. And look at me, here I am battling with fools at work who don't even like me, thinking about taking some of this suff to them instead of being with people I love and people who love me like my family.

Nawwwwwwww, I'm taking all the stuff to my friend Wanda's. She is a dear friend who I used to work with when I was a dept manager for Wally-World and knows who I am as a person and how I think and how I feel and how good I really am as a person and a worker.
Of course, with her, I was with a group of people who all look at me in a different light. They looked at me as a person who was part of a work force, not as a person trying to stop you from doing things you were not supposed to be doing, as I have to at this place and season in my life.

I didn't work w/inmates. I didn't work w/people who didn't honor policies and principles that kept a decent working enviroment.

I worked with people who respected me for my values, beliefs and were in true competition for sales of products not competition of favoritism.
I loved that job also, I just couldn't do the physical aspect of the job any longer.

I'm tired. I'm tired of not being recognized as a person willing to bust my arse for this company.
I'm tired of having to explain why others do or don't care to do things that common sense, let alone policy tells you not to do with inmates.
Good God, I don't want them to know about my life because you never know what tomorrow brings.
One guy in another part of the facility befriended an inmate, when the inmate got out, he robbed this guy's house wile he was working.

We are surrounded by burglars, theives, con-artists. You can sit back and watch these cons play these people out on the floor to get what they want. The inmates control the situations.
We, the staff, are supposed to be in control of the area. They feed statements to the staff that the staff believes, the inmates flirt with the women, you can see it. They make them laugh and talk and carry on with them and they just don't see it. They think I am being a hard ass just to be a hard ass.
They don't see it as a protective mode.(besides being policy)
yuck, that word aagin, policy
I want to work around people who are aware of their surroundings and aware of what is being done to them and around them instead of focusing on how much of a bitch I am because I try to stop the stupid stuff.
I want to work with people who give a damn and do something about it instead of whining and crying about things that are out of their control anyway.

I'm done for a minute. Got other things to do, like laundry.