Today

Today has been so different than any other but then isn't every day supposed to be?

I woke this morning in a sweat from a fever.
I called in sick, today.
The news said if your sick don't go to work.
yeah, right.

I worked all weekend very very sick. I knew I couldn't find anybody to work for me let alone the fact I was shorthanded with the guy who quit with no notice on Saturday. Got a phone call from one of my other employees, Saturday evening, she flipped her car and totalled it on her way home from work.
Would not even think of telling her there was no one to replace her while she was recuping.
Was blessed with one guy who did come and relieve me for a couple of hours on Sunday. TY Jesus for that. I slept the whole 2 hours I went home. He ended up staying close to a whole shift.

Sunday being Mother's Day
I was just totally bummed with not being able to go to church to do my prayer group, let alone be able to enjoy the awesome lesson I knew the Pastor had for us mothers.

I usually am able to sneak out to church on the weekends I am supposed to work, just hasn't happened the last couple of Sundays that I did work.

Let me be honest here also, I was totally bummed with not having any contact w/the kids this year. On and off love has been tearing me up.
I have lifted my children and our siutation up to the Lord and do not fret as much as I had. I am trusting the Lord will touch their hearts and their lives.
But it still hurts sometimes.
Mother's Day I did get a text message from one of my girls, so I was blessed with that.

I love my Lord, I trust Him to lead me in the right direction. I feel sometimes that the more I want to do for my church and my God the more everything tries to fall apart on me.

I love my job.
Let me rephrase that.
I love what I am doing where I am doing it.
But it seems the job that once made me feel like I was doing the Lord's work for a while is now hindering me as I have grown in the company.

I used to be able to witness to the inmates, now it could be classified as fratenizing and I could be fired.
I always had time for church, now it gets in my way.
I don't understand why I am getting so discouraged.
In my walk w/ Jesus, I have learned to live life so differently,
so much more forgiving, so much more compliant with what is expected of me as a christian. The rebellious side of me (the world)that I thought had just been totally eliminated from me is popping up once in awhile. I don't like it.
I am praying that somehow, someway
I am just going to pray.
I am going to try to gain some wisdom reading fellow bloggers pages.
I do love you all
especially the blessed one from Iowa.
((((((((((((mel)))))))))))