Last night's word as always put my mind at ease again that I am definitely being cradled by God's Loving Hands.

A couple of weeks ago, this beautiful lady who has been anointed to pray over us sinners and often has a word from the Lord put upon her, told me to be patient. That the Lord told her He knows where my heart is and how willing and anxious I am to do His work. But He want's me to be patient for He has a mighty work for me to do and as all things of God it will happen in His time. He wants me to be ready and when He chooses He will guide me in the right direction.

Pastor said the Lord is looking for Joshuas. Joshuas who can put the Red Sea behind us and go for the crossing of the Jordan. In talking and reading the book of Joshua about the River Jordan, it brought back memories from a few years ago when I was part of a Bible study and was given a rock. This rock was to portray one of the rocks from the River Jordan.

Jos 4:21 And then he told the People of Israel, "In the days to come, when your children ask their fathers, 'What are these stones doing here?'

Jos 4:22 tell your children this: 'Israel crossed over this Jordan on dry ground.'

Jos 4:23 "Yes, GOD, your God, dried up the Jordan's waters for you until you had crossed, just as GOD, your God, did at the Red Sea, which had dried up before us until we had crossed.

Jos 4:24 This was so that everybody on earth would recognize how strong GOD's rescuing hand is and so that you would hold GOD in solemn reverence always."

I sometimes wonder when I hear a teaching like last night's why is it so hard for people to recognise just what the Pastor was saying. When you made it through the Red Sea, crossing the Jordan is going to be a breeze because you should already know God has you in His Loving Hands. Why look back and try to pick up all that crap you left behind with God's help just to create a new problem because that is what you are going to end up doing if you are not careful.

I do go back sometimes just to clarify how great God is, in bringing me through the desert into the glorious life I have now in Him. I know it is going to even get better when I am able to achieve my hearts desire in helping people to Christ.

Some people don't think it is glorious because I don't live in the best of places. The best of places is materialistic. Had what I thought was the very best once.That my friends was sin. I try so very hard not to give in to the enemies temptations. But it is easy to turn from all of his little "come here look at this" temptations because of where I was at one time.

I will not be going there again.

Living like I am now is so glorious.

I mean, come on now. Let be realistic. From the age of 16 to 52... smoking pot, drinking, doing speed, coke. Getting to the point I could not function with out my scotch and either speed or coke then getting to sleep by smoking my pot. Walking around in such a daze 90% of the time, I didn't care what I did, who I spent my time with.

I allowed the enemy into my life and that is what I did for 36 yrs.

After running away from an abusive life as a young girl looking for something better I let satan himself show me how life was. Learning about drugs, being beaten and raped multiple times, when I didn't want to indulge in his requests. End result not wanting to have my children living the horrid abusive life I was indulging in w/ him and kept trying to run away from I left the best part of me ( my children)behind and began a real journey to hell for the next 30 years believing if God was real He would not allow all this to happen to me.

Always lonely, always frustrated, always looking for love in the wrong places. Always stoned out of my mind. Then one day I gave up my fight. The firing pin was broken. So here I was, still alive.

Another time I gave up my fight, I spent 36 hours in the ER, came out alive.

The one day in the yr 2000, I really gave up the fight when I got a phone call from one of my daughters I hadn't seen since 1972 when she was 6 months old.

That's when God started to show me who He really was.

On March 31, 2002 which was my birthday and also Easter, for some reason, I walked in a daze to the front of that church that I found for my Mom's visit a few month's earlier and made a commitment to God that I would love His Son and Him for the rest of my life

That's when God made me realize I was here for a reason.

This is His love in return. He restored everything taken by my past. He shined His light on the hidden treasures in my soul and gave me a future and a hope. He enveloped me in His love and washed me in His awesome forgiveness. He anointed me with oil, draped me in royal robes, and placed a crown upon my head. I am His daughter, a daughter of the King.



Because of His mercy, I stand unashamed of my past. I pray for those caught in life's deadly traps. I pray that like me, they will one day stand in the flow of God's love and not be consumed by thier desert and their Red Sea. I pray that I can unmercifully help someone else to see through me, that God is so Good and Loyal when we become loyal to Him.



Again....Jos 4:24 This was so that everybody on earth would recognize how strong GOD's rescuing hand is and so that you would hold GOD in solemn reverence always."

Today, I stand waiting to wipe fear's tears from hurting hearts and dry lips dripping with guilt's liquor. I stand waiting to straighten crowns tilted by life's circumstances and to love someone into the kingdom.

God is not done with me. I will shine in His light.