Is it over yet?

Oh, I am so hoping now that the holiday is over that maybe the stable enviroment at work can be achieved now.

I so so miss the peaceful atmosphere we had a month ago even though it was not all together set in stone routines developed yet, but from August till December were truly the best I had experienced at work as far as leadership goes. Yes, things happened but we had a strong but gentle support system present with us and we so desperately need that presence now.

It was supposed to get easier, more stable with this new guy.. I am still in limbo. People who do not like my faithfulness to the company or my following of policy and regulations are trying even harder to influence the new guy with their so called best ways when everyone involved at this point was on the verge of being fired not so very long ago for their behavior that has only had a thin veil shading them from being recognized as the thorns in everyone's sides. They are trying so desperately to get me gone. They even try stupid things like trying to make it look like they have absolutely no training on certain things, they don't have a clue what is supposed to be going on or how to do the same things they have been doing for over a year, when I know for a fact they have and do know. There has been a sweet lady who has helped train who will now be training.

So now, I will not be training anyone. Which is fine. They can irritate this other poor sweet lady doing the task. Pray for her.

I am to do more office stuff which would be good if I was given the time and training to do it. In the meantime, I am trying desperately to do what is asked of me and trying desperately not to offend anyone as I am a person who I am told can be very intimidating to others.

I am sorry. Right is right and wrong is wrong.

When you don't give a damn about what directions are given to you and you insist on doing things the way you want to, which is almost always the wrong way, it bothers me. When other people do stuff and I have to be held accountable for their irresponible actions, it tends to rub me the wrong way. When you do the deed and I get the kick in the ass and I am not even on the clock, yeah, that bites my butt hard.

I am so hoping that maybe with learning some of the neccessry things I need to progress, I can get transfered to another location. Yeah, those other places might have their problems but it would be different problems.

I love my job. I love what I am doing. I love where I am living.
BUT
I am tired. I am tired of the games that don't seem to be seen by the eyes that should be seeing it. Holidays games with people calling in or too many people scheduled off and having to work the office and the floor, not much office work done. I just spent 3 days of trying to be someone I am not being paid to be and covering the shortages which totaled 5 out of 8 people in the morning and 4 out of 7 in the evening with me supposedly doing a 5 to 1 and then back at 4 til 7 schedule. I ended up one day being in from 3:15 am (I didn't clock in till 5) till about 9:30 pm with a 1/2 hr lunch on a holiday eve with lots of stuff to do we don't normally do. umm about...39 hrs in 3 days. Yeah, I'm tired. With working the way I am right now, I am tired of working so many long hours and not having a life. I am tired of not being close to family. Yesterday, Christmas, was the hardest. With not working. Getting up, making some candies, gingerbread bites, pumpkin bread. Stuff to take to a friendand her family, that had invited me over so I wouldn't be by myself for the holiday.

All the while I am making this stuff I am thinking, if I was near Julz, she and the kids could be having some fun doing this with me. As it should be. And look at me, here I am battling with fools at work who don't even like me, thinking about taking some of this suff to them instead of being with people I love and people who love me like my family.

Nawwwwwwww, I'm taking all the stuff to my friend Wanda's. She is a dear friend who I used to work with when I was a dept manager for Wally-World and knows who I am as a person and how I think and how I feel and how good I really am as a person and a worker.
Of course, with her, I was with a group of people who all look at me in a different light. They looked at me as a person who was part of a work force, not as a person trying to stop you from doing things you were not supposed to be doing, as I have to at this place and season in my life.

I didn't work w/inmates. I didn't work w/people who didn't honor policies and principles that kept a decent working enviroment.

I worked with people who respected me for my values, beliefs and were in true competition for sales of products not competition of favoritism.
I loved that job also, I just couldn't do the physical aspect of the job any longer.

I'm tired. I'm tired of not being recognized as a person willing to bust my arse for this company.
I'm tired of having to explain why others do or don't care to do things that common sense, let alone policy tells you not to do with inmates.
Good God, I don't want them to know about my life because you never know what tomorrow brings.
One guy in another part of the facility befriended an inmate, when the inmate got out, he robbed this guy's house wile he was working.

We are surrounded by burglars, theives, con-artists. You can sit back and watch these cons play these people out on the floor to get what they want. The inmates control the situations.
We, the staff, are supposed to be in control of the area. They feed statements to the staff that the staff believes, the inmates flirt with the women, you can see it. They make them laugh and talk and carry on with them and they just don't see it. They think I am being a hard ass just to be a hard ass.
They don't see it as a protective mode.(besides being policy)
yuck, that word aagin, policy
I want to work around people who are aware of their surroundings and aware of what is being done to them and around them instead of focusing on how much of a bitch I am because I try to stop the stupid stuff.
I want to work with people who give a damn and do something about it instead of whining and crying about things that are out of their control anyway.

I'm done for a minute. Got other things to do, like laundry.

Life

You know, time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.

It seems just yesterday that I was young and embarking on my new life. And yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all...
And I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams... But, here it is..the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise... How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my babies go? And where did my youth go?

I remember well.. seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like... But, here it is...my friends are retired and really getting gray...they move slower and I see an older person now. Lots are in better shape than me... but, I see the great change... Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant... but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore...it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will...I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!!

But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know, that when it's over...its over....Yes , I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done ,,,,,things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime....

So, if you're not in your winter yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!!

Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not!

You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for good today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!!

"Life is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after.
Make it a fantastic one."

LIVE IT WELL!!----

ENJOY TODAY!!!!-----DO SOMETHING FUN!!!----BE HAPPY!!!----BE THANKFUL!!!!!

What fire burns within? A fire must be fed to continue to burn. What are you feeding your fire? Does the fire need to be straved so it will smolder and eventually go out or is your fire one that needs to be kindled so it will never go out? Good fire: kindness,mercy, love,forgiveness. Bad fire: anger, unforgiveness, hatred, self-centeredness. You choose!!!

Life is made up of steps.Todays steps are tomorrows future. Think about what steps you want to take and consider what they will bring to your tomorrow. A step not worth considering, most likely isn't worth taking.

Prune me

Pruning- to cut off unwanted parts.When tending plants there comes a time when we must prune them. A rose brush is a good example, at the end of the season a rose bush needs pruned, the process is to cut away all the branches that are dead and to cut back those that still have life. During this process the plant looks dead , the only thing remaining is a few brown limbs. There seem to be no life in the plant, but looks are deceiving. The rose brush is very much alive.

In our lives there comes a time to allow God to prune us.To cut off any unwanted parts that will hinder His work. During this process we may not look so great and to some we may appear dead . This is the time to trust and believe that the good work that Christ has started in us, He will see through to completion. Just as a rose brush comes to a new season, with fresh and beautiful blooms, we can know that we will have a new season also. So take time and trust God, to do His pruning. Watch and expect to see new and beautiful blooms next season.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-13 NIV

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven; a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build., a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to be silent and a time to speak,a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on man. he has made everything beautiful in it's time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from the begining to the end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in his toil - This is the gift of God.

Times and seasons do change.

Logan and his calf

" target="_self">

Nicole's Prayer