Can you cry under water?
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
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Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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Do you ever wonder why we are friends in the first place?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Random Questions
This is a quiz for people who know everything!
These are not trick questions.
They are straight questions with straight answers
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators
nor the participants know the score or the leader
until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark
is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to
produce on their own for several growing seasons.
All other vegetables must be replanted every year.
What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on
the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy,
with a real pear inside the bottle.
The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine;
it hasn't been cut in any way.
How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English
begin with the letters 'dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar.
Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit
that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked,
or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your
feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
HAVE A GREAT DAY
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Answers To Quiz:
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators
nor the participants know the score or the leader
until the contest ends
Boxing
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward . Niagara Falls
(The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the
millions of gallons of water
that rush over it every minute.)
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce
on their own for several growing seasons .
.. Asparagus and rhubarb.
4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside .. .
Strawberry.
5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle?
It grew inside the bottle.
(The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in
place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing
season.
When the pears are ripe, they are snipped of f at the stems.)
6. Three English words beginning with dw
Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.
Does dweeb count??
7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar .
Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark,
exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and
ellipses.
8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked,
or in any other form but fresh
Lettuce.
9.
Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S'
Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates,
snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
PLEASE DO YOUR PART.....
Today is National Mental Health Day.
You can do your part by remembering to send
to at least one unstable person
Well, my job's done!
LIFE IS A JOURNEY.
ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW AND ENJOY THE BREEZE.
Friday, July 18, 2008
a nobody
Not long ago a woman complained to me that when her husband came home he always greeted the dog first and then came and found her. But I asked, "Doesn't the dog run to the door and wait when she hears the car pull into the drive?" "Well, yes," she answered. "Sooooo?," I answered. I was reminded of a church member who most always came to church after the worship service started and left during the closing hymn. They complained to me that the church was unfriendly and no one ever talked to them.
Emily Dickinson once wrote, "This is my letter to the world that never wrote to me." She got it. If one is to have friends one must often take the initiative. This evening I made three attempts to introduce myself to a church member only to have her turn and walk away from me. I had been standing quietly in her vision range waiting. I will try again.
Solomon said it in Proverbs 18:24, "A man who has friends must himself be friendly." However we do understand that some people are shy. We need to seek them out. In Romans 12:16 Paul admonishes us to make friends with nobodies. It isn't natural to do that. We want to seek out the somebodies. However, somebodies rarely need us. It is the nobodies who most often really need us. Life can be brutal and demolish people's self worth to the extent they just don't have the courage to speak to someone new.
That is where we come in.
Sometimes an extended hand is all it takes to change a life.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
AWESOME
THIS IS A FIRE RAINBOW - THE RAREST OF ALL NATURALLY OCCURRING ATMOSPHERIC PHENOMENA.
THE PICTURE WAS CAPTURED THIS WEEK ON THE IDAHO / WASHINGTON BORDER. THE EVENT LASTED ABOUT 1 HOUR.
CLOUDS HAVE TO BE CIRRUS, AT LEAST 20,000 FEET IN THE AIR, WITH JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF ICE CRYSTALS AND THE SUN HAS TO HIT THE CLOUDS AT PRECISELY 58 DEGREES.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
NewLook
The new look is me.
Me, the granny I would like to be with my grandkids.
I'm just not there yet.
Give me time and I will be.
Oh my, that means I might be like my own granny in the end.
Yeahhhhhhhhh!!
I loved my granny.
Me, wishing I could be on a beach with such a view.
I love the ocean.
Just trying to put some of me, the real me in here.
Me.
Picture is the old me.
can you tell how messed up I was.
Here I listen to some of the old me w/ Wy and Rod and especially Janis Ian and Joplin.
I had a couple Mercedes.
Didn't help who I was.
But then again, it probably did.
Helped me to hook up wih all the losers,the drug dealers, the make me feel good guys, I felt I needed a that time.
I was still the drug induced, drunk, confused creature running around hiding from everything that was genuinely important in my life.
I even did the scotch thing that Joplin did.
(before I went to sleep and first thing when I woke up.)
A lot of us in the 60's and early 70's experienced some of the same.
Just not everybody will admit to it, heh.
Savage Garden helps me in different ways.
It's a reflecion of the old me especially the one about the coffee machine.
I didn't know of the song until, my kids and my sister introduced it to me after our reunion.
They told me everytime they heard it,
it reminded them of me running and ruining my life.
It made them worry for me.
It made them pray for me to be still alive somewhere.
I don't know how I survived.
Whoops, yes I do
Helps me to get back to reality and how thankful of where I am now, with Jesus.
When I am in my car and at home, I now listen to nothing but contemporary Christian which helps me praise God for everyday I am walking in this "season" of my life.
It helps me to say "Thank You, Jesus" that I am even alive to enjoy what small moments I now have with my family.
I missed so much for those long 30 years without them.
people that know me today, can't recognise me from this above picture.
Thank You, Big Guy
(You can click on any song and it will play for you.)
Today's Prayer
Dear God, You know how eager I am to jump in and take matters into my own hands. Sometimes, I don't take time to think and talk with you about a situation first. I know I should take matters to You; I should slow down a little to think and pray. Help me to not be so hard-headed all the time, but to slow down and wait on Your guidance...even Your intervention. Please give me wisdom, so that maybe I won't have to spend so much time wandering in the wilderness because of my ignorance. Thank you.
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One Body
"The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ" (1 Cor 12:12-13).
Imagine with me for a moment that you have won a very expensive car. However, in order to receive your prize, you must agree to an unusual requirement. You must agree to remove one major component in that car in order to receive the gift.
Which component will you remove?
Will it be the steering wheel? Perhaps it will be the left front tire or the front seat or the two headlights. My illustration may seem ridiculous, but you get the point. Unless you have the complete car and have the ability to use all of its components, your ability to benefit from that car is going to be severely limited. The Bible says you and I are part of a larger Body - the Body of Christ. We each have our own body, but we are also made up of a larger Body that has a unique function to play. When you are not functioning as God intended, the entire Body suffers because you are not fulfilling your prescribed function.
When you function in a way that is not directly connected to the larger Body, you are only fulfilling a small portion of why the Manufacturer made you. There is a greater mission that you must fulfill. Today, the Body of Christ is fragmented and seeks to do things separated from one another. Our individual church "silos" stand alone - often as monuments to man instead of the greater mission of reaching the city.
Jesus knew the key to fulfilling His mission was getting His larger Body to work as one. "I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me" (John 17:20-21). What is your part in the overall mission? Are you fulfilling your prescribed function as designed by the Manufacturer?
Friday, July 4, 2008
When you thought
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each
other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of
your time and money to help people who had nothing,
and I learned that those who have something should
give to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking.'
Feelings Are Fickle
Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? James 2:15-16 (NIV)
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Faith is more than something you just feel. Many people confuse emotions and feelings with faith. They come to church and they are moved emotionally, they’re inspired, and they’re stimulated. They get a quiver in their liver and say, “Oh, man! I’m moved!”
In the book of James, we get a brief glimpse at hollow sentimentality. James minces no words. He’s saying, “You go out on the street and you see some homeless person who’s destitute and simply say, “Cheer up,” or “Don’t worry, be happy!” “Feel good!” “Put on a happy face.” “Smile, smile, smile!” For God’s sake, do something!
Faith is practical. It gets involved in people’s hurts. And when you see a need, you do something about it. James says faith is something you do. You don’t just feel it. You have responsibilities.
One by one. Great opportunities to serve God seldom come, but small opportunities surround us daily. You need to look for those little opportunities because faith is not just something you say, and it’s not just something you feel.
The Next Step:
Give your faith feet. Many Christians practice faith within the confines of their climate controlled cathedrals. Find a way out! Serve your community outside the walls of the local church.
Discover the needs. Put your faith feelers out and find out where the need is greatest in your community; then begin to work on a way you can make a difference.
Go global. What could the church do to change conditions half a world away? Plenty! Find a way to join the move toward stopping extreme poverty and the hopelessness of starvation and disease.
